“It was like one thing to make a mistake, It was another thing to keep making it”

Dear depression, You are everywhere! You are in my nightmares and in my daydreams.
You are like kinda those unconscious thought in my head that consumes me. It’s not separated from me, It’s me. But why is this happen with me? Why am I always in grief? Why I can’t get rid of these anxiety? Why?
I know that the grief is what that is really love. It’s like the love you want to give but you cannot give. This is what happened when you let yourself close to someone, when you feel like someone is there who love you, when you started to believe they love you, and you feel so good like you’re giving them priorities, you’re giving them all the time to spend with. But here the trouble begins. When these all things you would be assume, believe me or not, you’d be disappointed.
It’s been like you used to of it and you done with all of it. All the unspend love gathers up in the corners of your eyes & in that part of your chest that gets empty & hollow feeling, you’ll feel nothing. Like there is nothing left in this world. The more you loved someone, the more you grieve. Like depending on someone & you might as well admit you’re going to be crushed.
The happiness of the love turns to grief and sadness when unspend because when you really needed them, they wouldn’t be there. Either that, or you’d confide in them & you ever really had was yourself. You want to get out of these but you can’t. All the efforts you applied are in vein and that sort of sucked if you were never less than reliable. These kind of pain can’t be put into words. Help people to get out of this stigma.

Depression is the word with no place to go.

So finally I wrote and would loved to open up about Mental Health Condition/ Depression, & what I realise is why I write this all?
And all the thing comes in my mind and reminded me why I used to write is “To Feel” & let people “Feel” that you’re not alone 😊❤️

05/06/19

Written By

Manoj Deval

 

(This post was published here.)

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